Why did I say yes to God and what led to my decision of obedience?
I have been married for thirty years. Alcoholism has been a part of my life for all those years and through my childhood. I don’t drink.
I have struggled for years with where to draw the line between enabling and submission. As a Christian woman, I want to be obedient to God’s Word but have found at the same time I have laid myself down to be a doormat to verbal and financial abuse situations.
Through the study “What Happens When Women Say Yest to God” by Lysa Terkeurst, I have learned to be radically obedient to God and let the consequences be where they may. It wasn’t easy at first. I had anger and frustration in me that I had to deal with and after asking the Lord for the strength and desire, I surrendered those feelings to Him.
I choose to keep my eyes on Him and use Isaiah 41:13 as my verse to cling to. It says: “For I the Lord God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee: ‘Fear not, I will help thee.'” When things get tough, I put my hand up to the Lord and visualize Him taking it and walking me through whatever is going on around me. The Lord has been faithful every time! Since I started doing this, I have had peace and even joy!
Getting ready for the next study “A Confident Heart” by Renee Swope, I had gone to her site and saw something I could use as a wonderful way to say Yes to God along with being respectful to my husband. Renee said she prays over her husband from head to toe. She showed an example of how she does it. So, I got myself a journal notebook and every day I am doing the same thing. Here is an example of something I wrote:
Head: Lord, I pray for my husband’s thoughts today. I pray that every evil or discouraging thought that enters his mind, that You dear Lord would direct those thoughts towards you.
Eyes: Lord, please open his eyes that he might see that he has a wife that has stood by him for thirty years, for richer, for poorer and in sickness and in health. Cause him to see that I love him and I am right here for him.
Ears: Oh Lord open his ears to hear what I am saying when I am encouraging him that he doesn’t hear it as I am trying to control him. Have him to hear that I as his wife want the best for him.
Heart: Lord,open his heart to receive You and Your love and forgiveness. There is so much pain in the depths of his heart from his past. Hug him Lord, may He feel your gentle touch on his heart today.
Hands: Lord let his hands no longer desire to hold to the things he is now, a beer or a bottle. Let him see his hands empty and I pray that he would hold them out to You asking You to fill them with something fulfilling.
Feet: Lord, guide his steps away from alcohol and into a walk which is wonderful! Lead him out of darkness, into Your marvelous Light!